I don't want to get into a relationship because im afraid of heartbreak :(?

okay first off the saddest thing is im a guy, and unlike girls, guys have no one to talk about these things without sounding gay. Right im 18 years still in college and i want a relationship but whenever i get to close to a girl i get this sick feeling every time i see her talking to another guy, or even when shes not and i know i might be a bit jealous but i never used to be like this :( .. It first started when i was with this girl who just came out of a 1 year relationship, and she left me for a ? well i was fine again after a month or so, then came along this other girl called sammy, the first time i met her we both instantly clicked and a few weeks later we were going out, life couldnt get any better we spent all out time together, and a few months down the line we went on holiday in blackpool, she was acting so wierd by not talking to me so much (we did have a few arguments before the holiday) anyways at the end of the holiday she told me she cheated on me with her ex,, i never felt so **** in my life, my heart sank.. i just threw my half eaten lunch and drink in the bin and walked away, i couldnt speak the words would just not come out :/ .. We've been broken up for over a year now.. After that i met another girl, who i also began to get so attached to, however a few months down the line things got bad and we broke up a week later i had a house party and she got off with this guy, and for some reason she kept making out with him around me and kept looking at me for a reaction, about an hour later i found out THEY WERE BANGING IN MY BATHROOM i just flipped, me and my brother burst through the door, she whent downstairs and we cornerd him, i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i just through him out the house.. it took my about half a year to get over her ( i lost so much weight through worry ) .. After that i met another girl called sian at a rock concert. we met up a few times and a started to like.. but she lived to far for us to have a relationship, took me a while to get over her.. after that i met this girl at a party who i had a one nighter with, but we did kinda like eachother, but i thought nothing of it and carried on with my life.. met her at another party and we started talking more (i slept with her again) .. still thought nothing of it.. She came round my house the other day and we started speaking even more, and we had such a good night together, this time i got her number. The only problem is, everytime she see's me at college she gets so shy so i can barley talk o her. but outa college shes so different (maby its just because my friends are around me) .. I do like her alot, but i find it hard to speak to her.. I dano what it is about her but she thinks shes so ugly, she wont come near me unless she has make up on, but shes so incredibly gorgous.. I wanna see her again, but im not sure cus im affriad if i get to close shes just gona f*%k me over :/ .. should i text her? im mean im not even sure what to say to her tbh ive never been with a girl like that .. anyways even if no one answers it im just glad i could tell some one :)